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Unwanted Regression Once again I caught myself staring. Into nothing farther than far away sands, Against hills and oceans wide with colors. But they weren't here and I was, Caught it seemed so readily, Volunteered too long ago to remember, The memory distant, always hazy. But that was long ago; and it seems that is somehow not now. When was I again? Dying in some far of land, Bled like angel's blood Creating and existing again as one, Over and over, Millions of songs unsung. That's when I was. Infinite, Peace, Piece of quiet, Pieces of mind, Pieces of me lying too far to pick up, Staring off into distant memories melted, but not one. Is it search, Is it find, Is it the quest I quest, Or the end I hunger to leave behind? This concentrate of reality, Diluted like restaurant voices at dinner time, Finite shambles striving to be counted and defined. Oh so many smiles to see, So much detail left floating; Little raft, Dark sea. Lost they are, Lost but claimed as dead eventually, Swallowed into oceans' swell, Lain to rest in the hole of memory. Like two pairs of two eyes, Seeing the same from two different sides, Four pools of liquid silver and blue Mirror across the span of time, The me I remember and that of left behind. That is memory. When was I again? Childhood; no that was never there. Teenager; that was too fleeting to remember. Adult; too long to languish over, memories not fitting but too familiar to be that of another. Once again I've caught myself staring, Off into realities and possibilities, thoughts so treasured but never shared. |